Okay, so I think it’s time to explain some things. Obviously I’m like, never on this account anymore. And that’s because I’m running a different account. My other account is a lot different than this one. Much more structured. There, is where I talk freely about everything that I never have talked about on this account. That’s because my other account originally started off anonymously. I blocked all my friends from my other account so there was no way for them to come across it because most things I talk about, my friends don’t know. I mean, some of them know now, but, yea.
But I think it’s time to mention generally what’s been going on with me.
Well okay, first off, when I was growing up (and still even now) I was the most bullied child in any school I went to. To the point where I had garbage thrown at me, was straggled by jump ropes and even had a chunk of my hair cut off during class. The teachers and principal never did anything. ‘Boys will be boys’ was always the answer.
I was even bullied in high school by my own RELIGION teacher. And I was stuck with the woman for 2 years because she became my parenting teacher as well.
Than, when I was 16 years old, I was raped twice by a guy that said he was my friend. He doesn’t live in the same city as me. He and I both had families that owned trailers in the same trailer park. We knew each other for 2 years before he raped me. He was my age. I never went back after that summer and we just sold the trailer.
Than, in June of 2012, I had a miscarriage. I was very early on in my pregnancy. I only knew about it for a few days. Such a short time that I didn’t get to tell anyone about it. Not even the father. So I’ve kept it a secret for the last year and a half.
This piece of information you already know. But, May of this year (2013) I managed to get out of a 2 year long abusive relationship. Majority of it was mental and emotional abuse, but on one occasion, it was physical. He pushed me so he could attack his own mother. He was the father of my unborn child.
I also deal with a gambling father and a mother who has had skin cancer twice. And the only information they know about is the bullying and the abuse (aside from the one incident).
But, because of all of this, I am now dealing with pretty bad depression and social anxiety. To the point of not wanting to leave my house or even my own bedroom. I eat once a day and it’s usually a very small amount. And I’ve also been struggling with self harm to the point where I’ve now lost count of the number of scars I’ve created.
So, basically, that’s why I’m not really using this account much. I get on here and there but I’m not very active with it. I’m going to keep it though incase there is a time where I want to start regularly using it again.